Celebrating Advent as a Family

>being able to come to this season without
Celebrating Advent as a Familypreconceived notions of what has to happen.
By Lisa M. HendeyToday, I fill my home with the sights, scents, and
For families longing to build traditions related to theirsounds (including hefty periods of silence) of the
identity as Roman Catholics, few times of the yearseason: Candles, different renditions of “O come,
hold greater promise than the liturgical season ofO come, Emmanuel” (O Antiphons!), frankincense
Advent. The sites and sounds of the holidays fill the& myrrh incense. Whatever wreaths or garland I
air around us, as we communally anticipate the gloryhave is left undecorated until Christmas Vigil. I move
and majesty of Christmas. Beginning with the Firstmy Mary paraphernalia (icons, etc.) front n’
Sunday of Advent, Catholic families have thecenter in my living room, kitchen, bedroom, and
opportunity to share the treasures of our faith withoffice. I invite friends for a light soup n’ bread
our children in prayer, symbolism and song.supper to craft ornaments. I believe adults are better
Meredith Gould, author of The Catholic Home:able to convey wonder and mystery when *we*
Celebrations and Traditions for Holidays, Feast Days,feel it ourselves.
and Every Day (Doubleday, February 2004,I also, I confess, have the Three Kings from my
hardcover, 256 pages) writes on the customs andNativity Scene travel from the nether reaches of my
rituals prevalent in Catholic culture. A recent converthome to the crèche. I’m opposed to having
to Catholicism, Gould shares the following advice forthe whole thing set up before Christmas Vigil...Mary
families looking to truly rejoice in the season ofand baby Jesus should not make an appearance
Advent with their loved ones.before midnight. Aren’t converts annoying???
Q: Why is it important for Catholic families toI think it’s important for readers to know that
observe and celebrate the liturgical season ofwe Catholic hail from a religion that celebrates
Advent?God’s creation and presence in all things, so
Gould: Advent is not “pre-Christmas,” it’sthat décor actually has meaning. As Fr. Andrew
a separate, distinct, important liturgical season thatGreeley writes in The Catholic Imagination, “As a
deserves the same attention and reverence as Lent.rule of thumb, if there are no votive candles it, a
Like Lent, it’s a penitential season where wechurch really isn’t Catholic.”
have yet another opportunity to recall, reflect,Q: How can observing the season of Advent
recollect, and reconcile. During Advent, we do thisenhance a family's Christmas celebration?
within the context of watchful waiting for the birthGould: I encourage people to observe Advent as a
of Jesus, who is not yet our Christ.way to heighten their appreciation for Christmas.
We also have an opportunity to contemplate theWatchful waiting gives way to delighted awe at the
vast meaning of Mary’s “yes.” I thinkbirth of Jesus. I think it’s also a great way to
this is particularly important given our general culturalinstill (in children and adults) an appreciation for the
resistance to obedience, along with our need, asvalue of cultivating patience. We move way too fast
women, to balance saying “yes” with sayingin this society. We’re too often ahead of
“no.”ourselves. Even Catholics need to learn how to “be
Advent is a season of discernment. I love it! And Ihere now” and Advent is a pretty powerful
love that living in the northeast means that I get to“now.”
do this in rhythm with days that are shorter andQ: What recommendations would you give for
colder, thus amenable to hibernation.parents who would like to emphasize the spiritual
Q: For families who have no tradition of celebratingcelebration of the holiday season over material
Advent, what are some simple traditions and ritualscelebrations?
you would recommend?Gould: Well, the forces of culture are so strong
Gould: Definitely start simple, perhaps adding a newit’s a major challenge for parents to push this
tradition or ritual every year. The easiest one to startback. But I think key to this is having parents
with is the Advent wreath, especially becauseunderstand the true nature of Advent. I think this is
it’s a home-based tradition that everyone cana necessary first step. I also think parents ought to
see practiced in church as well. (Gould’s bookreestablish their authority within the domestic church.
describes the meaning and significance of theI’m truly shocked by the ways parents cave
symbolism and colors, enriching the practice.)in to their children’s’ demands. (Easy
The Advent calendar is also very easy to incorporate.for me to say? I guess.)
Here I make a big deal (read: stink) about finding aBasically, my recommendations boiled down to: 1)
calendar that has doors that open onto scripture andMake sure *you* understand the spiritual nature of
religious art. I think Advent calendars with Santa andthe season so you can convey that to your kids; 2)
secular nonsense (e.g., reindeer) are anMake sure your kids understand that *you* are in
abomination…and you may quote me!!!charge of the home/domestic church.
The Jesse Tree is a bit more elaborate and laborWith the beginning of Advent, we welcome a new
intensive, but is a wonderful way to teach salvationliturgical year. Why not begin this new Church year
history and offset the mania around decorating awith the resolution to grasp hold of each occasion to
Christmas tree within 20 minutes of digestingshare your Catholicity with your children? By building
Thanksgiving turkey n’ trimmings.family traditions related to the season of Advent, we
Q: What are some of your family's favorite Adventteach them what is truly special about Christmas,
traditions?ensuring precious memories they will one day share
Gould: I was raised Jewish, so I have the blessing ofwith their own children.