Taaroof in Our Iranian Culture

It is extremely hard for many of us Iranian to acceptis a complicated, contextual, and learned behavior
No as an answer. It is even harder for us to say No,that only we Iranian know its elements.
when we really mean No.Basically Taaroof means making an offer that is
We have to say Yes to things that we do not like.based on not taking no for an answer. Persuasion is
We say Yes because it is (sometimes) bad to saymainly involved in our Taaroof production.
No in our Iranian culture. For sure we have manySometimes Taaroof make us to follow a double
situations in our culture that has one answer only:standard. From one side we do not want something,
"No".but on the other hand we have to pretend to like
Still, we Iranian have a deep tradition of makingthings or people. We are constantly making offers.
Taaroof, a notion that can be defined culturally,We ask people around us to do what we are asking
socially, politically, and even developmentally. If wethem to do, whether it is about eating more food or
have a guest in our home we have to offer themfrom staying more after party is over.
food, drink, and entertainment. One great aspect ofWe have to stop this behaviour. It is not healthy ,it
our offer is due to our hospitality. We Iranian like tohas never been. No should mean No, in every
share food. It is in our tradition and our values thatsituation. Do not make fake Taaroof. We do not
we have to invite people to come over for food.have to make Taaroof at all. Only if we really like to
However, we tend to judge one another based ondo so and if we really mean it. On the other hand we
the amount or level of our Taaroof.should give people the freedom to say No, once
Why do we make Taaroof? The core topic asthey do not like our offers. Wow, we are
Taaroof is a multidimensional part of our Iranian lifecomplicated.
style and Iranian culture. I guess we will never bePoran Poregbal
able to analyze this phenomenon in-depth. Taaroof ofVancouver, B.C.